omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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