Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
