love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
