i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize