It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
