Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize