I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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