i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
