Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize