I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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