All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
