We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
