I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
