I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
