His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
