I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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