I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize