He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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