im about as happy as oj after his trial
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
