Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
