You can't motorboat a personality
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
