So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize