Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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