Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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