so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
