Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
