i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
