Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
time to smoke my breakfast
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
