I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
