Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
