Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
