i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
