Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize