I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You can't just leave with hair like that
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