Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
