I am puke
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
