Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
