Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
