I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
