I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
