nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
