This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
