i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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