how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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