so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
