I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize