I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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