Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
