I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
