Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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