Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i drank out of a bidet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
