Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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