Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
