how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
