This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
