Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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