just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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