what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
