there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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