Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
love makes seman taste better
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
