happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
